Spammers Gonna Spam

So if you have a blog or website you’ve probably dealt with this. If you don’t, well, I know you have via your junk mail box. So when you have a blog, you want people to comment. When you’re starting out, not that many people know of you, so when you get that little number next to comments you get excited. Someone commented! On my post?! Then only to find out it’s a God damn spammer.

So for the sake of the stolen e-mail address and hijacked website it’s claiming to be from, I scribbled those out. I had a recent rash of spam comments coming in saying the ‘website’ was someone’s Facebook profile. So I don’t wanna put the hijackee on blast, just the Hijacker. Wanna know why? I’m decent effin’ human being. That’s why.

And I do actually read through all the comments that Akismet tosses in the spam file. I have had real life friends of mine’s comments end up in there.

So here it is: Haters gon hate, Spammers Gonna Spam.

Really Ahmed? I need fresh articles? I think you need a swift kick in the ass. I WRITE A POST ALMOST EVERYDAY!! HOW MUCH MORE FRESH DO YOU WANT?

 
Quest Bars is a regular spammer on my site. I don’t know if they know that they’ve been hijacked. The link always sends me to the weed granola bar info. Nice vague comment there. Oh and are you asking if I’m certain of my source? I’m from Eagle River, and I wrote the ultimate guide, so I am the source. That’s right, you’re a spammer and don’t read.

 
SEO people are always spamming left and right. Ok, so I don’t 100% get SEO, but I’m pretty sure I’m doing everything you’re blabbling on about here. So, bye Felicia.

 
Quest Bars at it again. So vague, yet still attempting to stroke my ego. I didn’t know your knowledge and studies was on a bratty first-worlder named Nicole whining that she’s back home from galavanting around Asia. Bravo. What kind of degree did you get in that study, bro?

 
Wow! Little ol’ me has the potential to gain tons of visitors? If only I would go to your site and sign up for shit.

 
Excuse me, what? So you sell gold and organic beef in San Fran. You, my friend, have a very spread product line. It reminds me of this store that I drove past in Vegas that sold Gold and futons.

 
Quest Bars round III. How did I write this fantastic article? I DID NOT! Haven’t wrote it yet, it’s just a parent page for what I have started writing on my European travels. Ha! Nice try though.

 
Did Charlie Kelly write this? “Taked baby, meet at later bar night or day sometime. -Charlie”

 
Wow Quest Bars, you must have really liked that post cause this is the second time you’ve commented on it.

 
Please Alycia, enlighten me on how to make my blog go viral. Tell me your secrets.

 
Ok Shakira, what makes you think I need a car loan? I’m totally happy with Hammy and don’t plan to part with him.

 
Really Weed Bar salesman? You’d like to write for me, and the handful of people that read my rantings?

 
Nice try Natalija. Wouldn’t this be a matter you’d e-mail a person about if it was true, not comment on a page that has no photographs on it? You spammin hard here girl. I literally try to use my own photographs as much as possible and when I haven’t I have cited them and made sure they were photos I was allowed to use. Not like I took numerous college courses that show and expect you to properly cite other people’s work or anything. Fuck off.

 
Oh Rajat, you’re making me blush… You really know how to woo a girl. Hhhhhhaaaaaaa. Licking my lips with very affectionate lust?…What? I think my favorite part is where you called me a naughty minx. You think of my ‘ravishing body’ as a furry tube like animal?

 
Chain letters still exist? I thought these died with Kazaa, TRL and chat rooms. Oh, and Lindsey Lohan’s acting career.

 
Spammers are gettin good. They saw that the article involved jellyfish. Touché.

So that’s all the good and funny spam comments I have for you right now. I’ll do another one of these once I get some more goodies. Anyone have any hilarious spammer comments to share?

 
 
 
 

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